After successfully kicking skeptical reporters off the Obama campaign plane, the Obama campaign has decided to remove skeptical voters from the equation throughout the heavily contested battleground states.
Reports first came from Ohio as a series of vans circled shopping centers and abducted anyone not wearing an Obama pin or sporting an Obama decal on their beat-up car or family van. Soon after, similar instances occurred in Florida and North Carolina.
Representatives from the Obama campaign could not be reached for comment, but the McCain faithful are taking steps to protect themselves. Golden Corral restaurants near polling locations are being fortified as Republican strongholds as the battle rages on.