In case Judge Alito is not confirmed to the Supreme Court, or if there is another conservative rebellion, President Bush has reportedly tapped Knoxville Judge Roald Van Wade as an alternate backup nominee. Judge Wade’s years of experience presiding over traffic court should provide him with an adequate resume to get confirmed. “Judge Wade has great experience,” said an anonymous White House insider known only as KR, “his knowledge of traffic law should provide him the experience he needs to navigate through the murky waters of constitutional law. Did I mention his wife is an NSA operative?” Democratic mouthpiece Senator Schumer immediately called for the overturning of Roald Van Wade as a nominee.