The 39 year old Knoxville woman turned herself in to the Knoxville Police Department after watching new show ‘Person of Interest’. The unnamed woman was quoted as saying, “I watched the show and new that I was in trouble. They were going to catch me anyway. I thought that they would go easier on me…
Category: Knoxville
Stephen A. Burroughs to defend himself in court against Fate
In a unique court case, Fate has filed suit against Stephen A. Burroughs. Claiming that Mr. Burroughs has utilized more than his allotted 15 minutes of fame, Fate demands that he spend the remainder of his life in obscurity. Mr. Burroughs would not comment on the case, but did offer to pose for pictures.
World Beard & Mustache Championship tainted by Latisse doping
The 2011 World Beard & Mustache Championships were brought to a hair raising halt. There was alleged Latisse doping from the United States Team, based in Knoxville. Officials noticed the telltale signs of Latisse doping in the Tennessee based team, such as discolored lips, thicker than normal beards and mustaches, and rotting teeth. “The use…
Tim Burchett bans those with past DUI’s from visiting AutoZone or NAPA
After receiving media attention and successfully having one sex offender arrested for attempting to read, Tim Burchett has now created a new set of rules to bar those with past transgressions from public places. According to the Mayor’s office, “Those with DUI’s are not to visit AutoZone or NAPA. Both of these locations stock cup-holders…
Mix-up leads Sarah Palin to Tennessee Valley Farms
After weeks of hoopla surrounding Sarah Palin’s planned visit to Tennessee, a simple mix-up led her in the wrong direction. Expected at the Tennessee Valley Fair, she showed up today at Tennessee Valley Farms. Although she was unable to meet with supporters, she still had the opportunity to have animals lick her hands, so she…
Witnesses spot Sarah Palin blowing smoke on Market Square
This is a special news alert!  Several witnesses contacted our tip hotline today to report seeing Sarah Palin on Market Square earlier this morning. She wandered through Krutch Park and admired the other sculptures. She was overheard blowing smoke about this evening’s scheduled stop at the Tennessee Valley Fair.
The Gold Man planning his own “Swagfest”
Hoping to cash in on the meme scheme, Knoxville’s Gold Man, who likes to remain anonymous, is planning his own “Goldfest,” to also be held at the Sunsphere and Convention Center. The date has yet to be determined. The Gold Man, made (locally) famous by his Brimily’s Gold Exchange commercials, feels he should be at…
Palin promises big announcement at Tennessee Valley Fair, bringing Color Me Badd
As announced earlier, Sarah Palin plans to take the stage at the Tennessee Valley Fair on September 16. Her visit has been met with a bit of controversy because it forces the cancellation of a planned concert by Boyz II Men. Today, we received notice that a big announcement can be expected that night, and…
Sign of the times, local Merry Maids rebrands as UnMerry Maids
Owners say it’s just a sign of the times, a way to fit the needs of a modern world. The Knoxville franchise of Merry Maids is undergoing a rebranding to a more suitable ‘UnMerry Maids’ philosophy. “It’s pretty simple. In today’s economy, those that can afford help, don’t want to talk to the help,” explains…
UT Knoxville dedicates new College of Pharmacy building
The University of Tennessee dedicated the new College of Pharmacy building, located at 4624 Rutledge Pike today. What was thought to be a Police escort for the UT President who was speaking at the event, was actually a drug bust. Turns out students were selling illegally brewed drugs out of the new building. When interviewed,…
Local church and Moonshine Distillery team up with the Salvation Army
The most unlikely of trios is teaming up to fight the growing problem of the homeless in the downtown/old city area. “If you have ever walked through the Old City, you have more than likely been stopped and asked for money by a homeless person,” states John Baptist, “And you just know when they say…
Nominations now open – East Tennessee’s Least Relevant
Nominations are now open for something that truly matters. We want to determine what, in Knoxville, truly is irrelevant. East Tennessee’s Best…someone else has that under control. Now’s your chance to be heard, make your nominations today for East Tennessee’s Least Relevant for 2011. Nominations will close on September 16, with an official run-off of…
UT Athletic Department News
The assistant secretary to the associate soccer coach tripped over a power cord on her way to the water cooler yesterday afternoon, just as a volcano erupted in Yellowstone and blew the country in half. Witnesses report she stumbled slightly but was able to correct herself, and proceeded to refill her cup with fresh, cool…
As U.S. cities adapt to climate change, residents selected for North Knoxville dome city
Cities across the United States are making plans for adapting to climate change. At the forefront of plans, the City of Knoxville has announced plans for a dome that will cover Historic Old North Knoxville. The placement of the dome was selected due to the historic nature of the structures in the region. The biggest…
Green Acres Flea Market learns from Turkey Creek Public Market
Green Acres Flea Market has announced that they will no longer be described as a ‘Flea Market.’ “Our vendors have struggled over the last few months,” says the owner. “Then, along comes the Turkey Creek Public Market, and people flock to it. It’s crap in a barn, just like we have. Therefore, we’re changing our…