Author: Brehd Patchley

The Oak Ridge Observer announced today that they’ve finally observed all that they can stand. A branding campaign is underway to better associate with readers, and a new name is in the wings. Soon to be known as the Oak Ridge Disregarder, the focus will be more attuned with the aptitudes and actions of those…

Seriously, Knox County Mayor Mike Ragsdale is the speaker for the Farragut / West Knox Chamber of Commerce breakfast on July 15. Registration is available at $25-$35 per guest. Maybe they just booked him a long time ago and can’t find a way out of it…

After being cleared of illegal activity, Mayor Ragsdale is ready to move forward and cure the woes of Knox County. In order to update his image, a public relations firm has been hired to create a new slogan and logo to represent his efforts. Word is that he will drop his title and name, and…

Not everyone was thrilled to see Fulmer’s and Pearl’s raises lift them to a combined $4 million. UT President John Peterson was quickly able to put things into context, hoping to quiet the negativity about the University’s decision. According to Peterson, the high pay scales are necessary in order to make make sure the University…

After much speculation as to how to address the Downtown Knoxville homeless problems, a catch-and-release plan has been introduced that will allow other areas of the region to share the problem. According to a release from the Office of the Mayor, non-caucasian homeless individuals will be tagged and redistributed to South Knoxville where they will…

Daniel Lasris attempted to break the Guiness Word Record for body painting today, and set a completely different record. The goal was to bring in 950 people to be painted to make an American Flag. Participation, however, provided less than 50 bodies, not even enough to represent the stars in the flag. Missing his goals…

Those who attended Bonnaroo surely noticed that famed artist Pat Boone was not on stage this year. Boone, who had intended to play hits from his religious albums as well as some metal, mixed in with some motivational speaking, was apparently bumped at the last minute to make room for Kanye West. Blasting the organizers…

In this case we’re not even making up the news…just linking to it. And so I quote, “Why else would otherwise competent administrators and educators want to destroy the states most productive diary farm and most prominent symbol of Tennessee Agricultural education during the worst farming crisis since the dust bowl?” I guess, with the…

Concerned citizens have started a petition to encourage others to start a petition to make changes in Knox County government. With a theme of “Ragsdale simply sucks,” 100 volunteers worked Market Square this weekend to gain signatures encouraging a petition that would be utilized to scold Mayor Ragsdale and other members of the Knox County…

Volunteer Ministry Center officials announced today an exciting new $6 million resort utilizing the 5th Avenue Motel. According to the VMC, they hope to make this a suitable place for homeless Knoxville residents to vacation and relax after long days of chasing the working class down the sidewalks. “We’re trying to guarantee a wonderful stay…

The Segway Shout, an annual rally of the two-wheeled contraptions, gets underway today in Knoxville. The event, being held for its second consecutive year, is expected to draw between 8-10 Segway enthusiasts to our city. A spokesperson for Segway Shout says that Knoxville is a perfect city for the rally because it’s very much up…

AP reports today indicate that Mayor Mike Ragsdale has undergone elective surgery to have his head replaced with a Magic 8-Ball, eliminating his need for pesky advisors. This is a risky move and we wanted to know if this truly is the case, if it’s safe, and if it could really improve how Knox County…

As various filings were made today for divorce and protection amongst the Vandergriff clan, the courts did the only thing they could do in order to protect the 7-year-old daughter of the couple. To engender moral stability, they have placed the girl in the protective custody of Amy Winehouse.

Knox County Clerk candidate Amy Henley-Vandergriff will hold a press conference today to address rumors that she is why Knoxville has become known as ‘The Couch.’ According to her campaign team, “The press conference is to be held on the steps of the courthouse, because Amy is spending a lot of time there nowadays.”

City officials announced today that the Abu Dhabi investment council has set plans in motion to acquire Knoxville’s landmark, the Sunsphere. The deal will bring an estimated $18,000 dollars to Knoxville coffers, more than double the estimated value of the building. The Sunsphere, which has defined the Knoxville skyline (for those driving in from just…