Author: Bjorn Knoxley

In the past several years, the State of Tennessee has gotten home schooling parents up in arms over what the home educators perceive to be unfair treatment of their charges. One mother – who asked to remain anonymous – listed the following proposed inequities: Requiring home schooled children to score higher on SATs than public…

Missy Cooley, a business owner and popular local by any standard, has been replaced by a giant package of Bounty paper towels. Cooley is co-owner of the Mulberry Street Barber Shop in Loudon, and “the girl in the middle.” She is normally flanked by her business partner, Rex Mingie, and his younger brother, Nick. Unfortunately…

For years, at the start of summer, Knoxvillians have looked forward to the Bush Beans Bean Dip. Held on the water front in downtown Knoxville, Bush Beans prepares a giant vat of baked beans complete with diving board. Fans of baked beans can dive into the vat and swim in their favorite summer side dish….

Since November 2nd, 1999 the fine city of Knoxpatch has been served by an information/idea exchange by the name of K2K. In less than three short years, K2K has grown to 879 members and has an archive of over 34000 messages. So what. K2K, standing for Knoxville in the 21st century was designed as a…

Could this be the invention that changes the world? It hasn’t been long since many speculated that Dean Kamen was going to revolutionize transportation. His latest invention, the Segway Human Transporter. One local inventor, Scott Bird, has been rather vocal about the fact that a small, slow, and expensive scooter is not the way to…

Astrophysicists working at the University of Tennessee’s Space Institute in Tullahoma, TN, have discovered a small solar system orbiting the Sunsphere in downtown Knoxville. This photo, taken at night, shows four planets orbiting the Sunsphere. At first, the phenomenon was dismissed as being swamp gas or fireflies, but persistant janitor Herbie Bunker kept reporting the…

As fast food restaurants struggle to maintain market share, traditional sit-down restaurants are also gearing up for a major battle to hold customers. Cracker Barrel has long been as well known for a line of country stores as they have been for various fried cholesterol dishes. New and interesting offerings within the country stores is…

Knoxpatch.com’s team of scambusters are continuously seeking out consumers who have been taken in by some off-the-wall scam. Today’s story features Knoxville native Tony Ortavio. Tony is an out-of-luck, unemployed dock worker who has been feeling lonely lately. “If it wasn’t for disappointment, I wouldn’t have any appointment,” he explained. Late last year, Tony decided…

This model shows how the heliportmight look. Upon the creation of a downtown heliport, more federal dollars will be released to the city of Knoxville. This is exactly what the mayor’s office has discovered and exactly what they intend to do. The $400 million facility will be 20% subsidized under new legislation passed by congress…

Barney Lipowicz takes it all in stride as hefaces the reality of the ‘bowlers’ convention. Barney Lipowicz is in Knoxville on vacation as part of the bowlers convention. Although he’s maintaining a sense of humor, it’s easy to notice the disappointment in his voice. “Frankly, I feel like the entire event was misrepresented. Don’t get…

Can Beach in Arkansas is a popular man-made beach similar to the one slated for Knoxville. As summer months near, families start to plan vacations. In a bid to keep more summer spending within Knoxville, the 70-acre lot currently being used as the Regional Farmers’ Market near Knoxville Center Mall is slated for conversion to…

For years, Knoxville?s homeless individuals have been receiving assistance from those that are more affluent. Coordinated by Jake ?Spunky? Trevor, an upcoming street fair has been designed so that homeless citizens can give something back to those well-meaning patriarchs. Spunky explains it simply. ?You can only accept handouts for so long without feeling like you…

In light of recent criticism; Wal-Mart has decided to adopt a policy of “Tough-Love”. In addition to making employees pay for their own insurance, and firing anyone who even mentions the word “union”, Knoxville area Wal-Mart stores will be moving all handicap parking places to the far end of the parking lot. A Wal-Mart representative…

Bubba Quixote in rarearchival photo. Bubba Quixote, believed to be a direct descendent of the famed Don Quixote, has attacked the TVA Green Power windmills. The status of the windmills, located on Buffalo Mountain near Oak Ridge, Tennessee is not currently known. The Green Power program is designed to produce electricity from cleaner, greener sources….

There is a new organization in Knoxville that is dedicated to shining light on stupidity in the Knoxville area. The organization was started by M.R. Ducks, a retired Marine Corps Colonel. After retiring from the Marine Corps in June of 2001 Mr. Ducks retuned to his home town of Knoxville Tennessee. ?I was just amazed…