Author: Bjorn Knoxley

Now that we live out where Turkey Creek is actually convenient, we were delighted when plans got underway for a new Regal Cinema. Every Sunday morning as we did our Patriotic Duty© and shopped for groceries at the Wal-Mart Super Center (so sue me, they’re cheaper and have a better selection than anybody else, dang…

One Knoxville healthcare system has plans for coping with the 1000s of uninsured patients that are expected due to the changes in TennCare. “This hasn’t been announced to staff yet, so please keep the name of the healthcare system out of the story for now. Starting in October 2005, all uninsured patients are to report…

Due to an inventory error, Knoxville bookseller Books-A-Million temporarily had copies of the 16th book in the Harry Potter series on shelves last week. According to Bob Boulder, who was able to purchase a copy, take it home, and read it before anyone noticed, the story follows the troublesome foursome on various middle-aged hi-jinx as…

Knoxville had no need for another bar. Cha Cha is rather easy to access from West or Downtown, and Barley’s has every beer you’ll ever need (and a great pizza to go along with it). Then I heard about Sapphire. A place that was so sure of itself that it had no advertising and no…

After spending 6 hours working on the next version of Knoxpatch.com followed by a half hour spent drinking a 32oz beverage containing 12 ounces of coke and the rest consisting of Captain Morgan Private Stock and ice, Bjorn Knoxley attempted to write an article. It was not very good, but he did it anyway. He…

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The Knox County school board has approved a $320 million budget. This budget does eliminate the middle-school Talented and Gifted program as well as two positions at the hands-on children’s center. From recent reports, my understanding is that the supplemental pay to coaches was left intact. (I apologize for not attempting to find satire in…

Employees of IT Solutions were traumatized today with the knowledge that their efforts over the past two years have been focused on building chicken-coops. Although much of the daily routine was handled on a series of computers, ‘special tasks’ were often assigned to employees that would disappear for weeks at a time before returning to…

Inspired by recent controversy over the Confederate flag being displayed in public, a grassroots campaign to clean up history is about to get under way in East Tennessee. Ima Khunt, who came up with the idea, explains, “You see, I’m sick and tired of having symbols of past history shoved in my face. You know,…

Due to the success of church groups showing non-offensive Andy Griffith Show reruns to members in order to impart useful moral lessons without causing them to feel uncomfortable, several local church youth groups are pioneering the introduction of He-Man and GI-Joe cartoon reruns. “Yes, they’re violent sometimes, and involve war or fighting,” explained youth leader…

Sad news has broken that a historic building has recently burned. Luckily, it was located in Oak Ridge so further details aren’t worth posting.

In a move seen as a win for downtown, the American Belchers Association has selected Market Square as the location of its 2006 Festival of the Belches. The festival should attract several hundred participants competing for the titles of Best Overall Belcher, Loudest Belch, Best Echo, Longest Belch, and Ripest Belch. The festival will be…